Confidence do you have it or not?

So I have been talking to my friends¬† about why some people lack the confidence or the drive to do things in their life. Example I know this solider who has about 13 or 14 years in the military. They have done absolutely nothing with their life, haven’t taken advantage of all the opportunities that is there in the Army. This person will say I don’t want to be a butt kisser or sucking up to people, well I don’t view networking, doing hard work and going above and beyond on things sucking up. I see it as succeeding and networking.

Self-confidence does not necessarily imply ‘self-belief’ or a belief in one’s ability to succeed. For instance, one may be inept at a particular sport or activity, but remain ‘confident’ in one’s demeanor, simply because one does not place a great deal of emphasis on the outcome of the activity. The key element to self-confidence is, therefore, an acceptance of the myriad consequences of a particular situation, whether they are good or bad.

When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure or (more accurately) the disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable. If there is any ‘self-belief’ component it is simply a belief in one’s ability to tolerate whatever outcome may arise; a certainty that one will cope irrespective of what happens. Belief in one’s abilities to perform an activity comes through successful experience and may add to, or consolidate, a general sense of self-confidence.

So then I say does this person lack self-confidence? What makes you confident or not? I don’t feel that I am confident in all things, I am kind of afraid of failure but you know how will I know I got there if I didn’t fail a few times before getting there? I always tell myself that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. Just tell yourself that you are awesome. “I am awesome and nobody else matters…” At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

What do you think? I don’t want to say it’s too late for this solider however if they know what they must do then why aren’t they putting things in place to achieve that goal? Why are they sitting around and doing nothing?¬†